Succubus Blues CHAPTER 5

For virtu whollyy mavin who just orchestrated a murder, youre kind of overreacting.Overreacting? In the last twenty-four hours, Id had to travel virgins, scary lamias, murder, accusation, and humiliation in front of my favorite author. I rattling didnt think coming home to a quiet apartment was too oftenmagazines to ask for. Instead, I assemble three interlopers. Three interlopers who were in the like manner my friends, mind you, but that didnt change the principle of the social occasion.Naturally, none of them understood why I was so upset.Youre invading my privacy And I didnt murder anybody. Why does everyone keep thinking that?Because you said yourself you were going to, explained Hugh. The imp sprawled on my love seat, his relaxed posture indicating I efficiency actually be the one in his home. I heard it from Jerome.Across from him, our friend Cody offered me a friendly smile. He was exceptionally young for a lamia and reminded me of the kid brother Id never had. Don t worry. He had it coming. We stand by you all the way.But I didnt Is that our illustrious hostess I hear? called Peter from the bathroom. A moment later, he appe bed in the hallway. You look pretty snazzy for a criminal mastermind.Im not My words died on my lips as I caught sight of him. For a moment, all thoughts of murder and apartment intrusion blanked extinct of my mind. For Gods sake, Peter. What happened to your hair?He self-consciously ran a hand over the sharp, half-inch spikes covering his head. I couldnt crimson recall how much styling product it must shake up shoot forn to defy the laws of physics like that. Worse, the tips of the spikes were white-blond, standing out boldly once against his normally dark hair color. person I work with helped me with it.Someone who hates you?Peter scowled. You are the most uncharming succubus Ive ever met.I think the spikes really, um, emphasize the shape of your lookbrows, offered Cody diplomatically. They just take more o r less(prenominal) getting used to.I shook my head. I liked Peter and Cody. They were the solitary(prenominal) vampires Id ever been friends with, but that didnt shape them any less trying. Between Peters motley neuroses and Codys dogged optimism, I sometimes felt like the straight man er, woman on a sitcom.A lot of getting used to, I muttered, pulling up a bar-stool from my kitchen.Youre one to talk, returned Peter. You and your wings and whip getup.My mouth dropped, and I turned an incredulous look on Hugh. He hastily turf out the Victorias Secret catalog hed been leafing through.Georgina You said you werent going to tell You sealed your lips and every occasionI, uh it just sort of slipped out.Did you really engage horns? asked Peter.All right, thats it. I want you all out of here now. I pointed at the accession. Ive been through enough today without you three adding to it.You havent even told us about taking the contract out on Duane. Codys puppy-dog eyes looked at me p leadingly. Were dying to make out.Well, Duanes the one who technically did the dying, pointed out Peter in an undertone.Watch the snide comments, warned Hugh. You might be next.I half evaluate steam to pour from my ears. For the last time, I did not kill Duane Jerome believes me, okay?Cody looked thoughtful. But you did threaten himYes. And from what I recall, so have all of you at some time or another. This is just a coincidence. I didnt have anything to do with it, and Something suddenly occurred to me. Why does everyone keep expressing things like arranged his death or got soul to murder him? Why arent you saying that I did it myself?Wait you just said you didnt.Peter rolled his eyes at Cody earlier facing me, the older vampires materialization turning serious. Of course, serious means all sorts of things when paired with a hairstyle like his. No ones saying you did it because you couldnt have.Especially in those shoes. Hugh nodded toward my heels.I appreciate your complete lack of faith in my abilities, but isnt it possible I could have, I dont know, taken him by surprise? Hypothetically, I mean.Peter smiled. It wouldnt have mattered. Lesser immortals cant kill one another. Seeing my astonished look, he added, How can you not know that? After living as long as you have?Teasing laced his words. on that point had always been an unspoken mystery between Peter and me concerning which of us was the oldest of the mortals-turned-immortals in our little circle. Neither of us would openly admit our age, so wed never really determined who had the most centuries. One night, after a bottle of tequila, wed started playing a Do you remember when sort of game. Wed only gotten back as outlying(prenominal)away as the Industrial Revolution before passing out.Because no ones ever tried to kill me. So what, are you saying all those turf wars vampires have are for nothing?Well, not for nothing, he said. We inflict some pretty terrific damage, believe me. But no, no o ne ever dies. With all the soil disputes, thered be very few of us left if we could kill each other.I stayed silent, turning this revelation over in my head. Then how do I suddenly remembered what Jerome had told me. They get killed by vampire hunters.Peter nodded.Whats the deal with them? I asked. Jerome wouldnt elaborate.Hugh was equally interested. You mean like that one girl on TV? The springy blonde?This is going to be a long night. Peter gave us both scathing looks. You all need some serious Vampires 101. I dont allege youre going to offer us anything to sop up, Georgina?I waved an impatient hand toward the kitchen. Get whatever you want. I want to know about vampire hunters.Peter sauntered out of my living room, yelping when he nearly tripped over one of the many stacks of books I had sitting around. I made a mental bank bill to buy a new bookshelf. Scowling, he surveyed my nearly empty refrigerator with disapproval.You really need to work on your hosting skills.Peter Now, I keep interview stories about that other succubus the one in Missoula. Whats her name again?Donna, offered Hugh.Yeah, Donna. She throws great parties, I hear. Gets them catered. Invites everyone.If you guys want to party with all ten people in Montana, then youre welcome to move there. Now stop wasting time.Ignoring me, Peter eyed the red carnations Id bought the other night. Id put them in a vase near the kitchen sink. Who move you flowers?No one.You sent yourself flowers? asked Cody, his voice quaking with sympathy.No, I just bought them. Its not the same. I didnt look. Why are we talking about this when theres an alleged vampire killer on the loose? Are you two in danger?Peter finally opted for water but tossed beers to Hugh and Cody. Nope.We arent? Cody fitmed surprised to learn this. His scant years as a vampire practically made him a baby compared to the rest of us. Peter was teaching him the trade, so to speak.Vampire hunters are simply special mortals born with th e ability to inflict real damage to vampires. Mortals in general cant touch us, of course. Dont ask me how or why this all works theres no system as far as I can tell. Most so-called vampire hunters go through life without even realizing they have this talent. The ones who do sometimes decide to make a career out of it. They set about up like this from time to time, picking off the occasional vampire, making a general nuisance of themselves until some enterprising vampire or demon takes them out.Nuisance? asked Cody incredulously. Even after Duane? Arent you the least bit worried about this person coming after you? After us?No, said Peter. I am not.I shared Codys confusion. Why not?Because this person, whoever he or she is, is a total amateur. Peter glanced over at Hugh and me. What did Jerome say about Duanes death?Deciding I needed a drink myself, I raided my kitchen liquor cabinet and made a vodka gimlet. He wanted to know if I did it.Peter made a dismissive gesture. No, about h ow he died.Hugh frowned, apparently trying to piece together the logic afoot. He said that Duane had been found dead with a stake through his heart.There. You see?Peter looked at us expectantly. We all looked back, baffled.I dont get it, I finally said.Peter sighed, again looking utterly put out. If you are a mortal who has the semidivine ability to kill a vampire, it doesnt fucking matter how you do it. You can use a gun, a knife, a candlestick, or whatever. The stake through the heart thing is hearsay. If a normal mortal does it to a vampire, it wont do a damned thing except really piss the vampire off. We only hear about it when a vampire hunter does it, so it carries some special superstitious lure, when really, its only like that bullock block thing on the equinoxes.What? Hugh looked totally lost.I rubbed my eyes. I actually know what hes talking about, as scary as that is to admit. Theres this urban apologue that eggs balance on their ends during the equinoxes. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt, but the truth is, youd get the same results any time of the year. People only try it on the equinoxes, however, so thats all anyone notices. I glanced over at Peter. Your point is that a vampire hunter could kill a vampire in any heel of ways, but because the stake gets all the attention, thats what has become the accepted method of revocation of immortality. In peoples minds, he corrected. In reality, its a pain in the ass to ingest a stake through someones heart. A lot easier to shoot them.And so you think this hunter is an amateur because Cody trailed off, obviously unconvinced by the compelling egg analogy.Because any vampire hunter worth his or her snuff knows that and wouldnt use a stake. This persons a total newbie.First, I advised Peter, dont say worth his snuff. That expressions out-of-style and makes you function dated. Second, maybe this hunter was just trying to be old-school or something. And even if this person is a newbie, does it reall y matter since they managed to take out Duane?Peter shrugged. He was an arrogant asshole. Vampires can sense vampire hunters at close range. Combined with this ones inexperience, Duane should have never been taken. He was stupid.I opened my mouth to counter this. I would be among the first to agree that Duane had indeed been both arrogant and an asshole, but stupid he was not. Immortals could not live as long as we did and see as many things as we did without gleaning substantial know-how and street smarts. We grew up debauchedly, so to speak.Another question moved to the forefront of my reasoning. Can these hunters hurt other immortals? Or just vampires?Only vampires, as far as I know.Something didnt add up here between Peters comments and Jeromes. I couldnt quite put my finger on what was bothering me exactly, so I kept my misgivings to myself as the others chatted on. The vampire hunter topic soon became passe, once theyd decided with some disappointment I hadnt contracted any body. Cody and Hugh also seemed content to buy Peters theory that an amateur hunter posed no real threat.Be careful, you two, I warned the vampires when they were getting ready to leave. Newbie or no, Duane is lock in dead.Yes, Mom, answered Peter disinterestedly, putting on his coat.I gave Cody a sharp look, and he squirmed a bit. He was easier to manipulate than his mentor. Ill be careful, Georgina.Call me if anything weird happens.He nodded, earning an eye roll from Peter. Come on, said the older vampire. Lets get some dinner.I had to smile at that. While vampires getting dinner might have frighten most people, I knew better. Peter and Cody both hated hunting human victims. They did it on occasion but rarely killed when they did. Most of their sustenance came from extra-rare butcher fund purchases. Like me, they were half- assingtheir infernal jobs.Hugh, I said sharply as he was about to follow the vampires out. A word, please.The vampires gave Hugh sympathetic looks before le aving. The imp grimaced, closing the door and facing me.Hugh, I gave you that key for emergencies Vampire murder doesnt constitute an emergency?Im serious Its bad enough Jerome and Carter can teleport in here without you decision making to open up my home to God and the world.I dont think God was invited tonight.And then, you went and told them about the demon-girl outfitOh come on, he protested. That was too good to keep to myself. Besides, theyre our friends. Whats it matter?It matters because you said you werent going to tell, I growled. What kind of friend are you? Especially after I helped you out last night?Christ, Georgina. Im sorry. I didnt know youd take it so personally.I ran a hand through my hair. Its not just that. Its I dont know. Its this whole business with Duane. I was thinking about what Jerome told meHugh waited, giving me time to gather my thoughts, sensing I was about to unleash something. My mind pondered the nights unfolding as I studied the imps large shape beside me. He could be as silly as the vampires sometimes I didnt know if I could speak seriously to him.Hugh how do you know if a demon is lying?There was a pause, then he emitted a soft laugh, recognizing the old joke. His lips are moving. We leaned against my counter, and he studied me from his greater height. Why? Do you think Jeromes lying to us?Yes, I do. Another pause followed.Tell me then.Jerome told me to be careful, said I could be mistaken for a vampire.He told me the same thing.But Peter said vampire hunters cant kill us.You ever had a stake driven through your heart? It might not kill you, but I bet you wouldnt like it. true(p) enough. But Jerome claimed vampire hunters find other vampires by following their prey. Thats bullshit. Cody and Peter are the exception. You know how most vampires are they dont hang out with other vampires. pastime one generally wont lead to another.Yeah, but he said this one was a newbie.Jerome didnt say that. That was Peters theory based o n the stake.Hugh gave a conciliatory grunt. Okay. So what do you think is going on?I dont know. I just know these stories are contradicting each other. And Carter seemed awfully involved, like he was in on some secret with Jerome. Why should Carter even care? His side should technically approve of someone picking off our people.Hes an angel. Isnt he supposed to love everyone, even the damned? Especially when said damned are his drinking buddies.I dont know. Theres more here than were being told and Jerome seemed so adamant about me being careful. You too, apparently.He stayed quiet a few moments before finally saying, Youre a pretty girl, Georgina.I started. So much for serious talk. Did you drink more than that beer?I forget, though, he continued, ignoring my question, that youre also a smart one. I work around shallow women so much suburban housewives wanting smoother skin and bigger breasts who have no other concerns but their appearances. Its easy to get caught up in the stere otypes and forget that you have a brain in there too, behind your good-looking face. You see things differently than the rest of us more clearly, I guess. Sort of a bigger picture kind of thinking. Maybe its your age no offense.You did drink too much. Besides, Im not smart enough to figure out what Jerome isnt telling us unless there arent really succubus or imp hunters out there, are there?Have you ever heard of one?No.Neither have I. But I have heard of vampire hunters independent of pop culture. Hugh reached for his cigarettes and changed his mind, remembering I didnt like smoking in my apartment. I dont think anyones going to put a stake through us anytime soon, if thats whats bothering you.But you do agree were being left out of the loop?What else do you expect from Jerome?I think I think Im going to go see Erik.Is he still alive?Last I knew.Thats a good idea. He knows more about us than we do.Ill let you know what I find out.Nah. I think Id rather stay ignorant.Fine. Where are you off to now?Ive got to go put in some after-hours time with one of the new secretaries, if you bring forth my meaning. He grinned, dare I say, impishly. Twenty years old, with breasts that defy gravity. I should know. I helped install them.I couldnt help but laugh, despite the grim atmosphere. Hugh, like the rest of us, had a day job when not furthering the cause of evil and chaos. In his case, the line between occupations was a little thin he was a plastic surgeon.I cant compete with that.Not true. Science cant duplicate your breasts.Praise from a true connoisseur. Have fun.I will. Watch your back, sweetie.You too.He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and left. I stood there, alone at last, staring idly at my door and wondering what all this meant. Jeromes warning probably had been overkill, I decided. As Hugh had said, no one had ever heard of imp or succubus hunters.Still, I clicked my deadbolt and fastened the chain on my door before going to bed. Immortal I might be, but reckless I was not. Well, at least not when it counted.